Sad lady

Do I really love him?

Sad lady

This is the question I keep asking myself
Do you want to know what happened, then read on

I used to have a boyfriend whom I really loved, he was my senior at school. I had become his friend since the day he saved me from being punished for late coming. He was the head of my school at that time, trust me he was very good looking and above all very intelligent with most ladies wishing he was their crush. Luckily for me, he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was so surprised that I did not know when I said yes.

Before then he had been coming to my class frequently since we became friends and little by little feelings grew between us and I became the envy of his female classmates. I wished I never met him because he turned out to be the opposite of what everyone pictured him to be.

It was the end of the first term examination and we had about two weeks before the vacation. We spent more time together and most times alone in empty classes when others had gone to the school field for extra curricular activities. He had begun to touch me lately and I allowed him. I had my first kiss which I never expected would be so soon but that wasn’t the worst, after all, I allowed him to finger me and as if that wasn’t enough he started asking for sex but I refused and I kept saying I was not ready yet. He kept persuading me and I kept refusing then he started giving me attitude, he was not checking up on me as he used to and I was missing him.

So I finally gave in to him and allowed him to have sex with me. It happened in the library when everyone had gone home he had collected the key earlier in the pretense that he wanted to read. To be sincere it was painful but I enjoyed I. I didn’t know that was the beginning of my doom. He helped me clean up after we were done, and even after that day, he made me feel even more loved. But something happened, something you won’t expect, it was a shock I can never recover from.

This is what happened……..

You want to know what happened right, but before then would you believe a sixteen years old child had done something sexually like this?

Are you surprised? Yes! I was just sixteen years old.

Do you know why I am telling the world my story today because I want the younger generation to learn from me in order for them not to become a victim like me?

Let’s find out what exactly happened.

We had sex three times before the end of that vacation and trust me I didn’t tell anyone. After each sex, he gave me a drug to use to prevent pregnancy.

During the break, he called me almost every day. I really felt what it meant to be loved as then I could say he was the best that had ever happened to me.

I did not mention it from the beginning but I came from a Christian home and my father was an overseer in the church. Financially I wasn’t lacking anything so I wasn’t into the relationship for money though during the break.

I went out with him on several occasions and I can say he really spent money on me. My parents did not complain about going out because I had always lied to be going to a very close family friend’s place. During the holiday, I had mad fun and I hoped the holiday never comes to end.

On a faithful Sunday morning, on my way to church with my parents (my dad was driving) I felt like vomiting and I really couldn’t resist the urge it came out spilling over the car. My dad had to pull over in order for them to attend to me, my mum wasn’t so worried because the previous day I ate a lot of junks my dad bought from a program he attended. She was just complaining that I must clean the mess I made in the car, my dad had to drive back home and I had to rest.

My mum gave me some drugs to stop the stomach upset and after which I slept for a very long time only for me to wake to my Dad’s voice knocking on my door.

I was about to stand up from the bed when I felt a very sharp pain in my stomach I couldn’t help but cry out. My dad rushed in immediately and my mum followed suit after, their face had a puzzled expression. My Dad carried me and shouted at my mum to get the car keys. My dad got to the car before my mum and as my mum came out of the house she was screaming blood.

My dad did not even notice I had stained him with blood from my Vagina. I was so scared as my dad placed on the back seat and drove to the hospital with my mum in the car also.

The next thing I could remember was my mum crying beside me as I laid on the hospital bed it was then I realized that I had fainted earlier in the car I was still feeling pain in my stomach but it was better than before. Then my father walked in and I received the slap of my life, a slap I can never forget.

The doctor confirmed that I had been taken drugs that had been damaging my womb and that I had to stop else my womb would have to be removed. I was in the hospital for six days and by the time I went home I was feeling better though I was still on medication. On getting home, my parents demanded that I explained everything to them.

Now the table was before me and I had to explain everything I had been doing in the secret.

After I narrated everything right from when I met my boyfriend till that very moment my parents were disappointed.

My dad asked me to unlock my phone and call my boyfriend (I prefer not to mention his name) that was when I saw the 27missed calls I had from him, that didn’t even bother me I dialed his number immediately but it wasn’t reachable I kept trying but it wasn’t still reachable. My mother was already raining curses and my father was very angry. Then I scrolled through my phone and saw that he had actually messaged me saying that he has relocated to the United States to stay with his mum in the message he said he was really sorry he didn’t tell me earlier as he wasn’t aware of it and also questioned why I was not picking my calls.

I cried like a baby who has not been fed for days. My parents were so angry at me but what can they do. I had brought all these upon my self, my dad seized my phone and processed my withdrawal from school, he said it was going to be my punishment for disgracing him as he could not let me stay far from home again since I was a boarder. I had to start attending tutorials in order for me to be able to write my final secondary school exams.

But I wasn’t so lucky the sharp pain I felt in my stomach kept recurring till I had to remove my womb.

Let me ask you, do you feel pity for me?

Today marks my 29th birthday and thinking back I decided to share my story. I have not heard from my boyfriend since then that is if I can still call him my boyfriend. Since my dad seized my phone I lost contact with my friends and the truth is I don’t blame anybody. I don’t even blame the so-called boyfriend.

I blame myself.

Do I really loved him back then?

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